Here
is the actual response
sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re:
DEQ File No. 97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
Lycoming County
Dear
Mr. Price,
Your
certified letter dated
11/25/07 has been handed
to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner
but not the Contractor
at 2088 Dagget Lane
, Trout Run, Pennsylvania
.
A
couple of beavers are
in the (State unauthorized)
process of constructing
and maintaining two
wood 'debris' dams across
the outlet stream of
my Spring Pond. While
I did not pay for, authorize,
nor supervise their
dam project, I think
they would be highly
offended that you call
their skillful use of
natures building materials
'debris.'
I
would like to challenge
your department to attempt
to emulate their dam
project any time and/or
any place you choose.
I believe I can safely
state there is no way
you could ever match
their dam skills, their
dam resourcefulness,
their dam ingenuity,
their dam persistence,
their dam determination
and/or their dam work
ethic.
These
are the beavers/contractors
you are seeking. As
to your request, I do
not think the beavers
are aware that they
must first fill out
a dam permit prior to
the start of this type
of dam activity.
My
first dam question to
you is:
(1)
Are you trying to discriminate
against my Spring Pond
Beavers, or
(2)
do you require all beavers
throughout this State
to conform to said dam
request?
If
you are not discriminating
against these particular
beavers, through the
Freedom of Information
Act, I request completed
copies of all those
other applicable beaver
dam permits that have
been issued.
(Perhaps
we will see if there
really is a dam violation
of Part 301, Inland
Lakes and Streams, of
the Natural Resource
and Environmental Protection
Act, Act 451 of the
Public Acts of 1994,
being sections 324.30101
to 324.30113 of the
Pennsylvania Compiled
Laws, annotated.)
I
have several concerns.
My first concern is,
aren't the beavers entitled
to legal representation?
The Spring Pond Beavers
are financially destitute
and are unable to pay
for said representation
-- so the State will
have to provide them
with a dam lawyer. The
Department's dam concern
that either one or both
of the dams failed during
a recent rain event,
causing flooding, is
proof that this is a
natural occurrence,
which the Department
is required to protect.
In other words, we should
leave the Spring Pond
Beavers alone rather
than harassing them
and calling them dam
names.
If
you want the stream
'restored' to a dam
free-flow condition
please contact the beavers
-- but if you are going
to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay
any attention to your
dam letter, they being
unable to read English.
In
my humble opinion, the
Spring Pond Beavers
have a right to build
their unauthorized dams
as long as the sky is
blue, the grass is green
and water flows downstream.
They have more dam rights
than I do to live and
enjoy Spring Pond. If
the Department of Natural
Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up
to its name, it should
protect the natural
resources (Beavers)
and the environment
(Beavers' Dams).
So,
as far as the beavers
and I are concerned,
this dam case can be
referred for more elevated
enforcement action right
now. Why wait until
1/31/2008? The Spring
Pond Beavers may be
under the dam ice then
and there will be no
way for you or your
dam staff to contact/harass
them.
In
conclusion, I would
like to bring to your
attention to a real
environmental quality,
health, problem in the
area. It is the bears!
Bears are actually defecating
in our woods. I definitely
believe you should be
persecuting the defecating
bears and leave the
beavers alone. If you
are going to investigate
the beaver dam, watch
your step! The bears
are not careful where
they dump!
Being
unable to comply with
your dam request, and
being unable to contact
you on your dam answering
machine, I am sending
this response to your
dam office.
THANK
YOU,
RYAN
DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS
(PS-
Isn't it sad what the
"politically correct"
movement has done to
the Common Sense that
we American's once enjoyed
without governmental
malarkey.)
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